![]() ![]() I think you’ll agree the checklists are highly impressive. Meaning, the forms are fillable with check boxes or text boxes, so you can download, fill and save them to your devices. You can print the forms and fill them out manually or do everything digitally. That said, I welcome you to buy me a drink. They’re free because this information needs to be readily available and utilized. In fact, you may not finish it in one setting.Īfter seeing the checklists, you’ll think, “Wow, B.J., these are so comprehensive! You put a lot of time and energy into creating these… why are you giving them away for free?” The goal is not to race but to communicate. The future is for the submissive’s hard limits, boundaries, wants and must haves.Įven though checklists are filled out by submissives, both of you should share experiences. The past is for things the submissive has already experienced and how much he enjoyed it. There may be things you and/or your partner haven’t heard of, so have fun exploring together.Įach list has two segments: the past and the future. The other is an alphabetized list of activities (B.J. It is shorter and focuses on particular areas. One is a grouping of kinks with itemized play activities listed (B.J. Learn more about the form and BDSM in general in a recent blog post. Not knowing what to say is no excuse to skip the communication.Ī great “icebreaker” is the BDSM Checklist. ![]() People ask me how to get started with BDSM, how to involve partners, and how to begin a conversation. Certain acts can be physically and psychologically taxing, so it’s important to take time for grounding and checking in with yourself and your partner(s).You have a naughty smedia account, watched tons of porn, conducted research, and now you want to play but don’t know how to get started? After Care:Īfter Care refers to the time you and your partner(s) take after engaging in Kink or BDSM to check in with your emotional and physical needs. Consent should be knowing, voluntary, active, present, and ongoing, no matter the activity. As soon as you say your safe word, your partner(s) should respect it, stop whatever they are doing, and check in.Ĭonsent amidst Kink and BDSM is not just having a safeword - other dynamics and pressures can mean that a safeword isn’t necessarily safe to say. Here are some ideas for safewords that you and your partner(s) can use. Safewords are necessary to ensure that any sexual activity is safe, pleasurable, and consensual. Safewords:Ī safeword is a word or signal that ends BDSM instantly. If you believe you have experienced sexual violence, there are resources available to support you. Kink and BDSM are sexual acts that require consent, just like anything else. It does not and never will mean that you automatically and always agree to sexual activities like being slapped, choked, or called names. Trying kink and BDSM is completely up to you. They should not pressure you to keep going. Your partner(s) should respect your request and stop immediately. It is completely okay to stop when trying something new if it makes you uncomfortable or if you don’t like it.
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